[Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire: No spoilers past Storm of Swords or Season 3 of the TV series]Throughout the novels, it is clear that Catelyn loves all of her children and would do anything to keep them from harm. However, her comments about Arya, at first glance, seem more critical than her assessments of her other children, especially Sansa. The idea that Catelyn was overly hard on Arya, disliked her tomboyish inclinations, and made Arya doubt her mother’s affections seems to receive further support when Arya comments in Storm after she realises that Beric intends to ransom her back to her family:
Arya’s thoughts are reflected in Catelyn’s own internal monologue, and in her comments to Brienne on each of her children:
‘Sansa would shine in the south, Catelyn thought to herself, and the gods
knew that Arya needed refinement.’ [GOT, 64]
‘And Arya, well... Ned’s visitors would oft mistake her for a stableboy
if they rode into the yard unannounced. Arya was a trial, it must be said. Half
a boy and half a wolf pup. Forbid her anything and it became her heart’s
desire. She had Ned’s long face, and brown hair that always looked as if a bird
had been nesting in it. I despaired of ever making a lady of her. She collected
scabs as other girls collect dolls, and would say anything that came into her head.
I think she must be dead too... I want them all dead, Brienne. Theon Greyjoy
first, then Jaime Lannister and Cersei and the Imp, every one, every one.” [COK,
574]
However – especially as Catelyn’s
near-collapse at the end of her monologue to Brienne as she considers the
near-certainty of Arya’s death demonstrates how much she loves her youngest
daughter – I think there is a more fruitful way to read these passages. It
seems much more likely that, rather than Catelyn being the model of a perfect
noble lady, with Sansa following in her footsteps and Arya conspiciously
failing to meet her standards, Catelyn is so critical of Arya precisely because
she sees more of herself in her. From Catelyn’s point of view, Arya must learn
to conform to the rules of elite femininity if she is to be happy in the
society she’s been placed in, just as Catelyn herself had to learn to fit in –
so her criticisms of Arya stem primarily from concern and love, rather than a
desire to put her younger daughter down.
In this context, Catelyn’s
initial reaction to Brienne, who is also a woman out of her place, is
revealing. When she is told that the warrior she saw fighting is Lord Selwyn’s
daughter, she is appalled, but, more revealingly, pitying:
“Daughter?” Catelyn was horrified... Pity filled Catelyn’s heart. Is there any
creature on earth as unfortunate as an ugly woman? [COK, 252]
However, Catelyn is not a woman
wedded to social convention, but a woman aware of its power. A few paragraphs
later, she is already reassessing whether she ought to have pitied Brienne: ‘when Renly cut away her torn cloak and
fastened a rainbow in its place, Brienne of Tarth did not look unfortunate.’
[COK, 252]. Of course, she goes on to accept Brienne’s oath of service, and
takes her into her trust and counsel. This reflects her reaction to Dacey
Mormont, a woman who is comfortable
in her role as a female warrior, and so convinces Catelyn to feel comfortable
around her, as well. We see her defending Dacey’s right to fight for Robb in Game, telling the men who ‘mutter’ about it ‘This is not about the honour of your houses... This is about keeping my
son alive and whole.’ [GOT, 697] This statement reflects Catelyn’s innate
pragmatism, but also indicates that she does believe a woman can fight as well
as a man. In Storm, when she is in
closer contact with Dacey and her mother, her positive impression is confirmed:
although she still thinks that ‘mail and
leather’ is ‘queer garb for a lady’,
she doesn’t allow this to govern her assessment, thinking ‘yet Dacey and Lady Maege seemed more comfortable, both as warriors and
as women, than ever the girl from Tarth had been.’ [SOS, 623]
As this suggests, what seems to bother Catelyn
most about Brienne is not that she
has taken up arms but because she is clearly unsure of how to play the role she
has adopted, hopelessly in love with Renly and obviously vulnerable. Unlike
Dacey, Catelyn seems unconvinced that Brienne is really happiest assuming a
‘male’ identity, as she demonstrates when she orders gowns for her [COK, 474].
What these interactions indicate is that Catelyn is open-minded enough to accept the idea of a female warrior in
theory, but finds it difficult to believe that a woman can transgress social
conventions so dramatically unless the evidence is in front of her eyes. With
such slim odds of success, it’s unsurprising that this is not a path she wants
for her nine-year-old daughter, even if we know that Arya – perhaps, in
contrast to Brienne – can successfully combine both her love of fighting and
her femininity. (Interestingly, both Arya and Catelyn seem to have no problem
with the idea of a woman in power – Arya protests “The woman is important too!” in relation to coats of arms [GOT,
73], and Catelyn tells the Blackfish “A
woman can rule as wisely as a man.” [GOT, 366] This is not a belief that
Sansa seems to hold, or at least, has not considered.)
Catelyn’s own upbringing accounts
for her recognition of the power of social roles. We know that, as the oldest
child, Catelyn received a rather unconventional upbringing, essentially acting
as her father’s heir until her much younger brother, Edmure, was born. And even
after Edmure’s birth, Lady Minisa’s death in childbed left Catelyn to run the
household and act as lady of Riverrun from a relatively early age. This early
responsibility (which mirrors Sansa’s current experiences at the Eyrie) does
seem to have instilled an exceptionally strong sense of duty into Catelyn. Her
only mention of her mother is revealing:
‘Lady Minisa Tully had died in childbed, trying to give Lord Hoster a
second son... She
was always so calm, Catelyn thought,
remembering her mother’s soft hands, her warm smile. If she had lived, how
different our lives might have been. She
wondered what Lady Minisa would make of her eldest daughter, kneeling here
before her... I have lost my daughters, Robb does not want me, and Bran and
Rickon must surely think me a cold and unnatural mother. I was not even with
Ned when he died... [COK, 363]
This quote is especially
interesting because, although it is so brief, it tells us a huge amount about
Catelyn. Firstly, that she is not her mother’s daughter; of all the qualities I
associate with Catelyn, ‘always calm’ is not one of them. Indeed, Cat seems to
be continuously in action, grieving, thinking, planning and acting. Secondly,
Cat herself recognises that she might have been a very different person if she
had had a mother’s care during her young-adulthood. Thirdly, she segues from
thoughts of her mother into a consideration of how she herself has failed in her
two key feminine roles; as a mother, and as a wife. Although Catelyn has always
tried to do her duty, she believes that, by, ultimately, not being Minisa, she has done everything wrong, and that Minisa
might not approve of her. Like Arya, she feels that she has been judged by her
mother, and come up wanting.
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